Ashamed
08/01/2019
A Poem by MC (Aurora)
"Ashamed of me? That's all fine because I am not!"
Did I ever complained about the way I am?
Did I ever told you my pains?
Did I ever showed you my scars?
Of course! Never.
I never wanted you to know,
But it's you, who disclosed everything inside me.
Never I did had a trust on you,
Still you dared to break it up.
I was ill, I am ill, that's OK with me!
It's not me, keeping complaining about myself,
You injected all that into my head,
For YOU were ASHAMED of ME!
I wasn't, rather proud of being UNIQUE!
The medication you pushed down my throat,
We're just for healing your own scars,
That you suppose I gave you.
But shall I remind you your own sins?
That caused me a trauma, still not healed.
I just never wanted those medicines
You forced it down into me,
And look I have changed so drastically,
I don't have any feelings now,
I don't have my own brain,
I think much like others do,
I no more make you feel the Shame
I no more have my aliments... Thanks though!
I seem like I am no more insane.
But the medicines were just the materials
To build up a mask for me
So that I can hide myself behind it,
So that you are no more Ashamed.
Glad you succeed... Congrats over that!
But can you imagine,
The mask is approaching my brain,
It's ceasing my throat,
It's drowning my spirits in its darkness,
I seem to be fine,
But who hears my screams behind the mask?
I am just alone there,
So alone that I am scared of my own mares.
Do you know what pain I have gone through?
Did you ever cared?
Just you knew that I am insane,
I must be converted into something so called Normal.
I was a human since birth
But it seems like I am something more,
That you could never recognize
Through you respectful blinded eyes.
Glad you won!
Glad you managed to change me a lot.
Glad you are still Ashamed of me...
Glad I am not a human like you.
Thought the chemicals managed to dissolved me a lot
But I am insoluble
I am seem soluble till you keep shaking me,
I would be painfully back to myself again.
I will tear up the mask into tits and bits.
I don't care even if YOU ARE ASHAMED OF ME!
Because I am NOT ashamed of myself.